Worship Read online

  “What’s changed?”

  “I only want to be good for you. I don’t care about what anyone else thinks.”

  Diego smiles. “You are beyond good. You are perfection. You are everything I could’ve dreamed of and more. I’ve been starved for years, Julia. I am…” He shakes his head.

  “What?”

  “When we talk of being hungry in the priesthood, we say that we can be spiritually fed and that is enough. That will fill the holes we bear.”

  I nod. “I’ve heard that.”

  “I thought it was true until I experienced you. I was starving, but you’re feeding me.”

  “Is it enough to fill the holes?”

  Diego leans in close, cupping my face. “More than enough, Julia.”

  ∞∞∞

  Back at my apartment, I finish my bath and then join Erika in the living room.

  “Whatcha doing?”

  She looks up and smiles. “Watching Pretty Woman in Italian. Wanna join me?”

  “Hell yeah.”

  I plop on the couch next to her. “How was last night?” A hot flush comes over me as soon as I hear her question. “Oh shit, you’re blushing. What happened?”

  Do I tell her? “Uh, you know, the usual stuff.”

  She nods. “Like? I want details after that reaction.”

  I’m dying to tell someone. “We, uh, he…um…”

  Erika laughs. “It must be good.”

  “He made me strip down and he spanked me.”

  “Ooh.”

  After he used his scarf to bound my arms.”

  “Oh wow.”

  “And hung rosaries around my neck.”

  “Holy shit, girl.”

  “In the sanctuary.”

  Her eyes open wide. “You’re lying!”

  “No. Then he fucked me on the altar.”

  “You dirty bitch.”

  “I know.” I grin. “It was fucking awesome.”

  “Seriously that is the hottest thing I have ever heard. He’s living up to his Father Fire moniker.”

  “It was amazing.”

  “He turned you into an altar and then he fucked the shit out of you.”

  “Pretty much.” I rub my forehead. “He…”

  “What?”

  “Can I be graphic?”

  “Hell, yeah, girl, it’s me.”

  “He was gripping my neck and pulling my hair and fucking my mouth so hard I almost choked.”

  Erika falls back on the couch giggling. “And then?”

  “Ate me out on the steps. And then dragged me to the altar and bent me over.”

  “That is some shit.”

  “Yeah. But then we talked and he said he can’t be without me anymore. He’s going to figure out how to leave gracefully.”

  Her mouth falls open. “Oh, Julia. Really? He’s gonna quit for you?”

  I nod as tears fall. “Yeah.” I wipe my face. “It was a perfect night.” I laugh. “And then I ate his ass out this morning.”

  She pulls her head back. “You did not?”

  “I did. I wanted to.”

  “How did he react?”

  “I blew his mind.”

  “Hope you blew the rest of him too.”

  I laugh. “I did. It was epic.”

  “You’re epic. I had no idea you had that in you.”

  “Me neither. I feel very free with him.”

  “Clearly.” She gets off the couch and kneels before me. “I’m not worthy. All I do is have weekend orgies.”

  “Get up.” We both laugh as she sits next to me again.

  “On that note, want to skip the movie and grab some lunch?”

  “Sounds good.”

  Chapter Six

  Julia

  When I hear the knock, I walk over and open the door. “Hi, Diego.”

  “Hi, Angel.” He steps inside and kisses me deeply, bending me backward slightly.

  “Well, that was a kiss. You okay?”

  “I am.” He cups my face. “I was doing some reflection today and thinking about us. It’s been three months since you came back to me.”

  “I know.”

  “I finished reconciliation today and I was standing in my apartment looking at my own reflection and wearing these vestments used to feel oddly comforting and familiar, but today, they looked foreign to me.”

  “Okay.”

  He steps in further, closing the door behind me. “Are we alone?”

  I nod. “Erika’s out. Is something wrong?”

  “No.” Diego smiles. “I wore this here for a reason.”

  “What?”

  He slowly unbuttons his cassock. “I think I’ve emotionally transitioned from Father Montesanto to Diego Montesanto.” He pulls it over his shoulders, revealing his nude body underneath. “I’m just going through the motions now. My thoughts are distracted, and now I understand the celibacy vow more than I ever did.”

  “In what way?”

  “Being in love with you is all consuming. There is no other space to love anything else.” He lifts my hand and places it on his heart. “Only you, Julia.”

  “Oh, Diego. That’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard.”

  He leads me to the couch, pulling me onto his lap. “All I want to do now is worship at the altar that is your body.”

  “I’m all yours.”

  ∞∞∞

  We lie on the couch, wrapped in each other’s arms. I start to fall asleep when I hear the front door open and tug the blanket up to cover our nakedness, but freeze when I hear other voices. Oh shit, Erika brought other people home. I shoot up straight when I recognize the voices.

  “I’m not sure she’s home,” I hear Erika say.

  As soon as she finishes the words, she enters the room trailed by my parents. My fucking parents. My mouth falls open as they both look at me and then a sleeping Diego. It doesn’t help that his cassock is lying on the arm of the chair and I have a rosary around my neck.

  “What the hell is this?”

  Dad’s voice is so loud, it startles Diego awake. He jumps up from the couch completely naked, quickly covering his dick with his hands. His eyes are wide as he looks at me.

  “Dad! Mom! What are you doing here?”

  Erika looks mortified.

  Dad puts his hands on his hips. “We tried calling you several times, but you didn’t answer. Obviously you were busy.”

  I clutch the blanket around me. “I, um…”

  My mother shields her eyes as Erika just looks helpless.

  “Explain yourself, young lady.”

  I finally find my back bone. “I don’t have to, dad. I’m twenty-five, and I’m in my own apartment.”

  Diego looks around for clothes and grabs the only ones available, realizing too late what he just revealed. I watch as my dad’s eyes narrow.

  “Are you a priest?” He reaches down and turns on the lamp and that’s the moment of recognition. “You.” His eyes widen. “You?”

  Diego backs up slowly, throwing his cassock on. “Sir, it’s not what it looks like.”

  “It’s not what it looks like? Because it looks like you’re the kid that was manhandling her ten years ago. And it looks like you were naked. And it looks like you’re a priest.” Diego’s eyes shift to me. He doesn’t know what to say. “Is it you, Diego?”

  I tilt my head. How the hell does he know his name? There’s no way Katie spilled.

  “That’s my name. Yeah. How do you know?”

  “Are you fucking my daughter?”

  “Dear!” Mother finally chimes in. “Don’t talk like that.”

  “Shut up, Cathy.”

  I blanch at his rudeness. “Don’t answer him, Diego.”

  My dad marches over and grabs my arm, pulling me from the couch. “Are you fucking him?”

  “Yes! Yes, I am. Clearly. So what?”

  “So what?” He rubs his forehead. “Why him? Of all the people in this world, why him? How did this happen? How did you get here?”
/>
  “What are you talking about?” I pull my arm away. “Why are you so against this? You don’t even know him. You barged into my apartment uninvited and this is how you act?”

  “Oh forgive us for wanting to surprise our daughter who we haven’t seen in months. Now I know why you never call. You’re whoring around with a damn priest.”

  “Whoring around?”

  “You will stop seeing him immediately. And you!” He points at Diego. “I’m reporting you. This is abuse of power.”

  “Oh for fuck’s sake, Dad. This isn’t abuse of anything. This is entirely consensual. I am an adult whether you like it or not.”

  “You don’t know what you’re doing.”

  “It’s none of your business.” I notice my mother crying, and I’m so confused right now. “I don’t have to put up with this. It’s my life. I don’t care if you don’t like it. I love him. I’ve always loved him. You either accept it or you leave.”

  Dad looks hard at me as mom sits at the dining table, sobbing. Erika stands in the kitchen, watching with a look of horror. Diego is next to me, looking ready to fight.

  “For once in your life, can you just listen to me?”

  I shake my head. “For once in my life? You dominated my life. I finally stopped listening to you and now I’m happy. You took Diego away from me once, but you’re not doing it again. Not this time, Dad.”

  He turns to Diego. “If you want what’s best for Julia, you should let her go.”

  “I’m what’s best for her. I’ll never let her go.”

  “You’re a fucking priest.”

  “Not for long. I’ve chosen Julia.”

  Dad turns and looks at my mom. “You have to tell her,” mom says through tears. “You have to.” Dad rubs his forehead.

  “Tell me what?”

  “I will never condone this. I will do everything to keep you apart.”

  “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

  “Julia!”

  “No, mom, I’m not putting up with this anymore. You have no reason not to like Diego. None. You don’t know him. You don’t know his heart. You are a hateful man who doesn’t even love his daughter enough to want her happiness.”

  “You don’t know what you’re talking about!”

  “We’re going to get married, Dad. We’re gonna have kids and be happy and you won’t be part of it. None of it.”

  “You will not marry him!”

  “Why?”

  “Because he’s your fucking brother!”

  My mouth falls open. “What did you say?” My eyes shift to my mother who can barely contain herself. “What?”

  Dad exhales slowly. “He’s your brother.”

  “My…my brother?” I look at Diego who’s clearly in shock. “That doesn’t make sense.”

  “Sit down,” Dad says. “I have no choice now.”

  Diego and I sit on the couch. Dad paces in front of us, clearly distraught. “There is a possibility…” He clears his throat. “A strong one that you and Diego are related.”

  “Related how?”

  “He would be your half-brother.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “Your mother and I were having some problems. I was weak.”

  “Weak? Dad, what are you saying?”

  “I met Diego’s mother in a club one night.”

  Diego grips my hand, squeezing it as his eyes widen.

  “We, uh, we were both hurting for different reasons. Your mother wanted a divorce and Diego’s mother was lonely.”

  “Oh my god,” I whisper.

  “We, uh, we spent time together.”

  “You fucked my mother.” I turn and look at Diego. “Did you?”

  My dad nods and I have to hold Diego back. He looks away, and it’s the first time I’ve seen anger from him.

  “We didn’t mean to, but we ended up seeing each other a few times. It ended when your mother and I found out we were approved for Katie’s adoption. Your mother wanted a child and a family bad enough to accept me back.”

  I sit in silence, completely stunned.

  “Diego’s mother came to me several months later and told me she was pregnant. I’m ashamed of what happened next.”

  “What?” Diego asks, his voice tense.

  “I rejected her and the idea that she could possibly be carrying my child. I loved Julia’s mother, and I knew I couldn’t tell her what I did. So I paid…”

  He exhales slowly, and my mother stands up, wiping her face. “Tell her the rest.”

  I’m surprised by her steely tone.

  “I tried to get her to end it.”

  Diego clenches his fists. “Son of a bitch.”

  “She wouldn’t, of course. She told me I had to own up to my responsibility. I couldn’t.” He hangs his head. “Years went by, and I never heard from her until one day she showed up at my home holding the hand of a little boy. She told me she was dying from an inoperable brain tumor and asked me if I would take care of my son. I turned her away.”

  I shake my head. I can’t process this.

  “The guilt plagued me for months until I broke down and told your mother. She left me that day and took both of you away for the weekend. I went to church and confessed everything I did. After a few days, your mother came back, and she told me that little boy didn’t deserve to be alone because I was a sinner. She told me I would own up to what I did, and she said she would help.”

  Tears trickle down my face.

  “I called around and found out that Diego’s mother had passed and he was with her sister in a nearby town. I called but she wouldn’t take my calls. When I finally got her to talk to me, she told me to go to hell and stay away from her family.”

  “Oh my god.”

  “I didn’t hear anything for years until—”

  “That family reunion,” I whisper. “You knew it was Diego then.”

  Dad nods. “I was shocked when I saw you with him, kissing.”

  I look up as my world shatters around me. “You… how could you…” I stand and rush into the bathroom as a wave of nausea hits me. Falling to my knees, I vomit before slumping to the floor. Diego pounds on the bathroom door.

  “Julia! Let me in.”

  “I can’t.”

  “Julia, please…. Open the door.”

  I lie on the floor sobbing until Diego busts the door open and rushes to me, pulling me into his arms. I cling to him as grief overwhelms me.

  “Diego…”

  “I know, Angel.” He’s crying too. “I know.”

  “What are we gonna do? I love you.”

  “I love you too.”

  “Julia?”

  I look up at the sound of my dad’s voice. “Get out. I never want to see you again.”

  “You can’t marry him.”

  “Get out!” My own scream startles me.

  He turns and leaves, but after a moment my mom appears in the doorway. I can barely see her through cloudy tears. “Mom…”

  She sits on the floor with us. “I’m so sorry.”

  “Why are you sorry? You’re a saint. You took him back. You were going to raise his son from another woman.”

  “It was the right thing to do. I’m sorry you’re hurt.” She looks at Diego. “Both of you.”

  “We’ve had sex, mom. Lots of it.”

  “You didn’t know.”

  “Can we be alone please?”

  “Yes. Of course.”

  She stands and leaves. Diego holds me, stroking my hair. “I need to call my aunt. I need to know why she wouldn’t let him see me. I need to know, Julia.”

  “I understand.”

  “Look at me.” He cups my face. “No matter what happens next, don’t ever forget how I feel about you.”

  My breath rattles in my chest. “But if you’re my broth—”

  “No.” He puts his finger over my mouth. “I don’t want to think about that. Can I call from your bedroom?”

  “Of course.”

&nb
sp; He kisses my mouth. “I love you, Julia. Always.”

  I nod, as more tears slip down my face. “Forever.”

  Chapter Seven

  Diego

  Sitting on Julia’s bed, I stare at my phone, and exhale slowly before dialing my aunt. It’s early morning there, but I don’t care. It rings several times before she answers.

  “Hello?”

  “Aunty. It’s Diego.”

  “Hi, Diego. How are you?”

  “Bad. Devastated.”

  “Oh my god. What’s happened?”

  “I, um, just met the man who says he could be my father.” I’m met with silence. “Aunty?”

  “What?”

  “Joseph Caputo. He says he had an affair with my mother. He said she told him I was his. He said he came to you, but you wouldn’t let him take me.”

  “Oh my god. Diego. My god.”

  “Please tell me what happened. I need to know.”

  “How did this happen?”

  “I’m in love with Julia Caputo. His daughter.”

  I hear the phone drop and a string of cuss words before she gets back on the phone. “I don’t know where to start.”

  “Is it true?”

  “Yes. Mostly.”

  “Mostly? What does that mean?”

  “How are you in love with someone? You’re a priest.”

  “Can we get back to my paternity please? I need to know.”

  She exhales slowly. “Yes, it’s true your mother had a relationship with Joseph for a few months. It’s true she found out she was pregnant, and it’s true that I wouldn’t let him see you.”

  “Why?”

  “It was years later, Diego. Years. You didn’t know him. How could I hand you over to him? I knew he was here because of guilt, not because he wanted you.”

  “But he’s my father?”

  “Well, that’s the mostly part. I hate telling you this.”

  “What?”

  “Diego, your mother wasn’t sure who your father was. There were a few choices.”

  Her words stab like a knife in my chest. “She slept around?”

  “She was young and beautiful. Until she was pregnant, she was just having fun.”

  “Why did she pick Joseph then?”

  “Diego…”

  “Why, Aunty?”

  “Because he had money.”

  I nod, running my fingers through my hair. “I see.”