If I Told You Read online

  “He just goes for it, huh?”

  “Yep.” I swirl my drink. “I didn’t really have an answer besides the standard one I always give.”

  “For what?”

  “Why we’re not.”

  “Dating?” Flynn laughs. “Uh, you forget my humiliating attempt at seducing you?”

  “It wasn’t humiliating.”

  Flynn shakes his head. “To me it was. I thought for sure you wanted me to kiss you, and then when I did, you looked at me like I was your brother.”

  I laugh softly. “I was just surprised that’s all.” To say the least.

  “I know. Didn’t give me a lot of confidence to try again though. And now…”

  “Now?”

  “Now we’re friends. Best friends. Crossing the line now would just be weird.”

  “True. Not that I haven’t thought about it.”

  Flynn’s eyes open wide. “Oh come on, baby. Don’t talk shit.”

  “I’m serious. It’s been a long time for both of us. You’ve never thought about sneaking into my room and climbing in bed with me? Just for the physical release?”

  “You mean more to me than that and you know it. I would never use you for sex.”

  “I know.” I gaze into my beer. “But have you ever thought about it?”

  Flynn tilts his head. “Why are you asking me this? Why now?”

  I shrug. “I don’t know. I guess Rhys’s questions made me think about it. People always bring it up. Maybe somewhere deep inside, I’ve always wondered why we’re so good at being friends, but nothing else.”

  Flynn sets his glass down and stares at the table for a minute. When he looks up, fixing his blue eyes on me, he leans close and cups my face. He smiles, but there’s a tinge of sadness hidden behind it.

  “Yes, Brooklyn. I’ve thought about making love to you. More than once. I’ve thought about kissing you many, many times. I’m thinking about it right now.”

  “And?”

  “And I love you. You know that. You mean everything to me, and I would never risk our friendship even for the chance to touch you the way I really want to sometimes.”

  “So even if I asked you to make love to me, you would say no? If I snuck in your room, you would send me away?”

  He nods. “I would.” He leans in a little closer. “Listen to me, Brooks. You’re the best person I know. I want you to be in my life forever, and if we dated, if we fucked, we’d risk that. You know it as much as I do. Neither one of us are good at relationships, but we’re perfect friends.”

  I smile and lean forward, softly kissing his lips, as I’ve done a thousand times. “Okay, Flynn. I agree with you, but sometimes I think about it. That’s all.”

  “When you’re lonely. If you ever think about me when you’re not, let me know.”

  I watch as he sips his beer, while his words hang in the air between us. Maybe he’s right. The only time I want him is when I don’t have something else going. Or is it that I always want him and just get distracted by others sometimes? I take a swig of beer and smile. It doesn’t matter. He’s right. A relationship between us would be a disaster. Flynn and I could never be anything but friends.

  Hours later, I’m lying in bed staring at the ceiling, knowing Brooklyn is just down the hall from me. She’s naked, she always sleeps naked I learned after our first weekend living together.

  Heading into the kitchen for a glass of water, I stop when I see Brooklyn reaching for something in a cupboard. She’s wearing a short robe, untied, and nothing else. Literally nothing else. Her beautiful bare ass is on full display. As I clear my throat, she jumps, turning around.

  “You scared me,” she says, laughing.

  “Sorry. I just came for water.”

  Her eyes follow mine as they sweep over her near naked form. She makes a little effort to close the robe, hiding the tits I desperately want to see.

  “I sleep naked,” she admits. “But I was hungry so I threw this on.”

  I nod. “I sleep naked, too.”

  Smiling, she walks toward me. “Clothes are such a pain, aren’t they?”

  “Yeah.”

  “If I could, I would be naked all the time. Can you imagine me teaching a yoga class with no clothes on?”

  Fuck yeah, I can. “Could be distracting.”

  She laughs softly. “Well,” she says, dragging her hand across my chest. “Good night.”

  That sexually charged moment was the beginning of many, and now she’s got me thinking about going to her. Do I think about fucking her? Every damn day. What straight man with eyes and a working dick wouldn’t? It’s just not possible though. Not now, not ever. I know it would fuck everything up. Sex always complicates things. Not to mention I’m a one and done kind of guy. How do I go from that to a relationship kind of guy? How does she?

  What sucks is that I know she’ll fuck Rhys. More than once probably. I’ll sit and listen to her talk about it, in detail, wishing it was me. Imagining myself in his place touching that body, kissing that mouth, sinking into that pussy. I might even hear it if she brings him home. I’ll lie here listening to her moaning commands, wishing I could walk in her room and join in, push him off of her, and nail her. Wishing for once, I could just fucking do it, but instead, I’ll sit here. In the morning, I’ll nod and laugh as she describes it all in detail, and remind myself he doesn’t mean anything to her. He’s just another conquest. Another man she doesn’t care about. Then I’ll try to convince myself, again, that she’s just a friend and nothing else.

  “Morning.”

  I turn when I hear Brooklyn’s voice behind me. “Coffee?” I ask, offering her a freshly brewed cup.

  “Yes, please.” As she takes the cup, my eyes roam over her near naked body, clad only in tiny shorts and a tank top. I can see her nipples through the thin fabric and feel my dick start to spring to life in response. Her messy blonde hair hangs down, resting just above those bouncy tits of hers. She’s so fucking sexy. So beautiful. So comfortable with me, she doesn’t even care that I can see almost all of her body. She sips the coffee then plops down in a chair, grinning at me.

  “Sleep well?” she asks.

  “Not bad. You?”

  “Yeah.” She seems to be checking me out, and then I realize my dick is threatening to burst out of my sweatpants. “Uh, sorry. A case of morning wood I guess.”

  Brooklyn smiles. “I see that. Too bad there’s no one here who could do something about it.”

  “Too bad.” I move behind the counter. “Whatcha got planned for today?”

  “Nothing. Jill’s handling the studio today. Just gonna hang out here, I think. You?”

  “Going into the restaurant for a few hours to catch up on some paperwork before dinner service tonight.”

  “Mind if I come to the restaurant for dinner?”

  “I never mind. You know that.”

  “Cool. It’s probably the last time I can just pop in before you become the hottest seat in town.”

  “You know I’ll always have a space for you.”

  “I know.” She takes a large chug of coffee and stands up, setting the cup on the counter. “Thanks for the coffee. I’m gonna go shower.” Before I can say anything, she’s pressed against me, giving me a big hug. “I’m just so dang proud of you. Last night was awesome.”

  I squeeze her back, noticing how her tits push into my bare chest. “Thanks, Brooks. I really appreciate your support.”

  “Forever.” She looks up at me, and when I look down to meet her gaze, I can see straight into her tank top. “I mean it.”

  “I know you do.” I smack her ass. “See you later.”

  “Bye.” I watch as she walks away and then take a deep breath. I’m used to her being half naked around me, but today she seemed like she was taunting me. Like she wanted me to do something. Once I hear the water for her shower start, my hand slips into my sweatpants, stroking my dick, like it has a mind of its own. If it could talk it would beg me to bury myself deep in t
hat beautiful woman. Closing my eyes, I lean against the counter fisting my cock and replaying the image of Brooklyn in my mind. Those juicy tits, the curve of her ass, that tempting little triangle between her legs. I’d love to fuck her. I can’t imagine anything better. I groan quietly as I explode in my hand. Feeling a strange sensation, I open my eyes to see Brooklyn standing right in front of me, catching my load with a paper towel. Shit!

  I snatch it from her, shaking my head. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

  “I live here.”

  “I mean here! In the kitchen.” I clean myself up and shove my dick back in my pants.

  “Don’t be embarrassed, Flynn. It was beautiful to watch.”

  “Beautiful, huh?”

  “Absolutely.” She grins, not making any attempt to back away. “What were you thinking about while you did that?”

  “Pussy.”

  “Whose?”

  I stare hard at her. “You busted me, okay? I’m not talking about it.”

  “If you lasted a few minutes longer, I was gonna do the same.” She steps closer. “Wouldn’t that be hot? Me rubbing my pussy while you get yourself off?”

  I shake my head. “What’s gotten in to you all of a sudden? What is this?”

  “What?”

  “All this sex talk? What changed?”

  She shrugs. “I’m horny.”

  “Why don’t you call one of your many fuck buddies then instead of messing with me?”

  “I’m not messing with you, Flynn. I came to get a cup of water. You’re the one jacking off in the kitchen. Sue me for enjoying the show.” She turns around filling up her water bottle from the filtered fridge, while I stand behind her feeling like an asshole. When she turns back around she eyes me up and down again. “For the record, you have a nice dick.”

  I watch as she saunters down the hall again, realizing the only thing that separated her hand from my dick was a paper towel. Rubbing my forehead, I head for the safety of my bedroom. It might be the only place where I won’t be tempted.

  Back in my room, I shake my head as I strip out of my pj’s to take my shower. I can’t believe I just caught Flynn doing that. Two years of living together, and I’ve never seen his dick until today. Sure, I’ve heard him getting off, many times actually. I can always tell when he’s doing it by the sound of deep, heavy breathing coming from his room. I recall the time I heard him on the couch and peeked around the corner, but he was covered with a blanket. I’ve imagined what it must look like a thousand times, but seeing it was way better. Damn, it was nice. I figured he had to be packing with all the women he gets, but I wasn’t expecting that. The kitchen was an odd location choice, but I’m glad I decided to go back for water.

  Smiling as I brush out my hair, I replay the image in my mind. I’d like to think I turned him on. That I’m the reason he had to do that. And now he’s the reason I will. Once I’m standing in the shower, I reach down, rubbing myself just right. If I’ve learned one thing in the six months since I last had some dick, it’s how to get myself off and fast. Lifting my leg, I slide my fingers in, imitating the cock I so desperately need, while my free hand rubs my clit. In just a few brief minutes, the tension explodes and I gasp, moaning against the tiled wall behind me. I needed that. As my breathing returns to normal, I can’t fight the satisfied grin creeping across my lips.

  After I dress in my workout clothes, I walk out to the living room. Flynn is already sitting on the couch, hunched over his laptop. Leaning against the wall, I take a moment to admire his features. His light brown wavy hair is still messy, but it’ll be styled soon enough. He transforms from casual guy wearing his jeans and t-shirt to the handsome, accomplished chef in his dress clothes and perfect hair. I like him better like this though. When he’s just Flynn.

  Catching me, he turns in my direction. “Hey, Brooks. Whatcha doing?”

  “Nothing. You?”

  He pats the seat next to him. “Come here.”

  I walk over and sit next to him on the couch. “What’s up?”

  “Listen, about earlier, I, um… I don’t know what I’m trying to say.”

  “You don’t have to say anything. If I was a guy roommate we’d just laugh it off, right?”

  “Probably.”

  “So pretend I’m a guy.”

  Flynn smiles. “I wish I could sometimes.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “We talked about it last night. You know I think you’re hot. Every man does.” He shakes his head. “Sometimes it’s hard to separate what this thing,” he motions to his dick, “thinks when you’re around versus how I think.” He taps his temple. “I’m just a man, Brooks.”

  “So it was about me?”

  “Did you see what you were wearing? I could see your tits.”

  “You’ve seen them before.”

  “Not like that. I’m sorry you saw that. I should’ve gone to my room.”

  “It’s okay. I hope you’re not mad I touched you. I guess I got carried away, too.”

  “Nah, I’m not mad. It was just a moment thing.”

  “Yeah. Not gonna lie though, it was amazing to watch you.”

  Flynn smiles. “Was it?”

  “Mm hmm. I mean, I’ve heard it before, but seeing is different.” I smile. “Have you ever heard me?”

  “A few times.” He looks down then back at me. “I watched you once. I didn’t see anything, really. It was dark and you were covered in blankets, but your door was open, and I came in late and there you were.”

  “You watched?”

  He nods. “And participated.”

  A grin spreads across my lips. “Really? That’s pretty hot, Flynn.”

  “It was.” He chuckles. “We shouldn’t be talking like this.”

  “Why are we?”

  Shrugging, he answers. “Maybe I’m just horny.”

  “Well then we should both get ourselves fucked before we end up in each other’s bedrooms.” I rub his arm. “That’s not what we want, right?” Flynn gazes in my eyes for a moment, but doesn’t answer me. “Right, Flynn?”

  “Right, Brooks.” He leans forward and kisses my cheek. “I’ll see you later tonight.”

  “Okay.”

  He stands, waving as he disappears in his bedroom. Sitting on the couch, I look outside for a moment. Maybe I will go to the studio after all. I suddenly have a lot of excess energy I need to burn off.

  Sitting at my desk at work, I dig through my pile of mail. I need a better system for keeping this shit sorted. My phone rings, surprising me.

  “Flynn’s,” I answer.

  “Is this Chef Flynn?”

  “It is. How can I help you?”

  “This is Rhys Camden.”

  I sit up straight. “Oh, uh, hi. What can I do for you?”

  “Well, I was hoping you could help me. My own research has turned up empty.”

  “Sure. What do you need?”

  “Brooklyn’s phone number.”

  His request hits me with the the force of smacking into a wall. “Uh, she didn’t give it to you?”

  “I neglected to ask for it. I tried looking her up, but it seems she isn’t listed, and when I called her studio, the phone just rang.”

  I nod, knowing he asked and she didn’t give it to him.

  “I’ll need to call her and make sure it’s okay.”

  “I’d really prefer you didn’t,” Rhys says. “Couldn’t we just keep this between us? I’d like to surprise her if I can. If she’s mad, I’ll take all the blame. I bet she’s something else when she’s mad.”

  “Uh, yeah.” I think about it for a minute. I don’t know what to do. Actually, yes I do. Brooklyn wanted him to work for it and apparently he did. “You know what, I’ll give it to you, but if she’s pissed, you’re on your own.”

  Rhys chuckles. “Fair enough.” I provide the number to him, confirming when he reads it back. “Thank you. I really appreciate your help.”

  “No problem. Thanks again for
choosing Flynn’s to review.”

  “My pleasure. Really, it was. Company aside, the meal was spectacular. It’s always a joy to discover a new place and help others find it as well.”

  “Thank you.”

  “I’ve taken enough of your time. Have a good day.”

  “You too, Rhys.”

  I hang up and text Brooklyn to warn her that he’ll probably call soon. She might be mad, but I doubt it. She wants him, even if she’s playing hard to get. At this point, I need her to hook up with him so all this sexual tension between us can subside. At least on her part. Nothing can help me. I’m always horny for her.

  As I walk down the street on my way to my studio, my phone buzzes in my pocket. I pull it out and look at the unrecognized number for a brief moment before deciding to answer.

  “This is Brooklyn.”

  “Good morning,” the male voice says, and I immediately recognize it.

  “How did you get my number?”

  “Did you doubt I would?”

  “I’m unlisted.”

  “Perhaps I’m more resourceful than you gave me credit for.”

  “Obviously. What can I do for you?”

  “Well, I know it’s short notice, but I was wondering if you’d be my date tonight? It’s a rare Saturday night off, and I thought we could spend some time together and get to know each other better.”

  My eyes shift up to the cloud covered sky as I recall his spectacular features. I want to be a smart ass and tell him no, but I’d really like to see him again, without Flynn lingering nearby. “You don’t think I already have plans?”

  “How would I know if I don’t ask?” We’re both silent for a moment. “Give me a chance, Brooklyn. I won’t disappoint you.”

  “I guess since you went to the trouble of hunting me down.”

  “You’ll go?”

  “Sure.”

  “Excellent. What time can I pick you up?”

  “Whatever works for you.”

  “How about eight?”

  “That’s fine.” I give him my address.

  “Great. I’ll work on a reservation for us. Somewhere quiet where I can focus on you.”